no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
