Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
