When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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