He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
