I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I think your dad took our porno
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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