Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You need Xanax blowdarts
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
