I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
bring money and cleavage
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
That accounts for only three of the penises
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
