Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
