you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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