she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Shame - the story of my life.
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