yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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