I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
