Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
