Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
