You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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