so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize