I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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