Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
