I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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