wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
