Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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