I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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