Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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