so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
