Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
