will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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