there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize