First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
