thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
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