I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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