I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
We smell like vodka and hangover
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