Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
