escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
