i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
