If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Are we still banned from the library?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
