frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
no you cant smoke seaweed
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
