loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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