I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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