We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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