Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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