Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
