she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
