That's when you crack a 10am beer
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
