so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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