and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
