My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
