so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize