quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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