i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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