Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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