Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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