why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
