I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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