If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
