butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
