You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
