yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
