you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
