I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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