you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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