He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
