Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
