Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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