Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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