whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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