You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
