I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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