You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize